How to Kill a Relationship

There are no “perfect” relationships. The problem is not that misunderstandings happen, but how you deal with them. Here are some common “bad habits” couples engage in. Do you see YOU in any one of them?

Being critical. Being harsh and judgmental can cause a “fight or flight” response, and even “constructive criticism” can cause resentment. Discuss, don’t lecture.

Insist your partner be exactly like you. “Absolute compatibility” is a myth. Expecting full agreement and absolute compatibility denies the other’s individuality. Be open and accepting.

Avoiding intimacy. Focusing purely on work, hobbies, television, or other activities creates a divide between you and your partner.

The “blame game”. Avoid verbal “finger pointing” and using the “you” word. Saying  “Why did YOU do this?”or “How can YOU say that?” creates resentment and alienation. Make it less accusative: “Maybe I wasn’t clear” or “I think that could’ve been said differently”.

Bargaining. Avoid doing something just to get something else in return. Giving “with conditions” erodes relationships.

Romance changes with time. Don’t let “familiarity breed contempt”.  Once the initial excitement of a new romance passes, seek deeper and more personal expressions, and let your “significant other” have their “space”.

Negativity. If you constantly focus on flaws and mannerisms of your partner, you’re also avoiding your own flaws. Self analysis, rather than criticism, is better for both partners.

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